Dealing with a bad boss is frustrating, but having a narcissistic boss can significantly impact your work performance, home life, and mental health. Narcissistic individuals often exude confidence and charisma, frequently finding themselves in management roles where they may initially appear as natural leaders, using their self-assuredness to project competence. However, the paradox is that these very qualities can backfire, as the inner insecurities of a narcissistic boss can create a challenging environment for their employees.
A narcissistic manager can make their employees’ lives difficult due to their lack of empathy and disinterest in their personal lives. For instance, an employee needing leave due to a family bereavement may find a narcissistic boss reacting with frustration and anger, neglecting the employee’s emotional needs. Such bosses may disregard the work/life balance, expecting employees to answer emails during vacations or at odd hours, leading to strained relationships and well-being. This constant work-related stress can make it difficult for employees to fully relax or disconnect from work, even when they’re away from the office.
Narcissistic bosses often foster a negative and fear-driven work atmosphere, as they tend to quickly get angry, blame others for their mistakes, and take credit for their employees’ successes. This demoralizes employees, increasing the likelihood of them wanting to quit and elevating workplace stress. The erratic and nonsensical nature of punishment or rewards can result in employee burnout, eroding job satisfaction and driving them to seek alternative employment opportunities.
Working under a narcissistic manager can be draining, subjecting employees to a volatile and hostile work environment. Being at the mercy of an unpredictable boss can lead to high levels of stress, ultimately resulting in burnout, anxiety, or even depression.
So, how can you identify if your boss is a narcissist?
Management Style
They thrive on flattery and tend to favor those who praise them, often promoting or offering opportunities to sycophants over more deserving candidates. They exhibit a clear bias toward their inner circle and encourage employee competition for their favor.
Hero Complex
They often position themselves as the hero by creating or exacerbating problems, just to swoop in and solve them, relishing the attention and recognition for their “rescue” efforts.
Charming
Narcissists exude excessive charm and confidence, but their underlying insecurity can lead to anger and agitation when they feel overlooked or challenged.
Lack of Empathy and Boundaries
They lack empathy and have little patience for personal issues that may interfere with work, even when it’s genuinely urgent. They may contact you while you’re on vacation despite your out-of-office status.
Name Dropping
Narcissistic bosses frequently drop names to project power and center themselves in attention, leading them to feel entitled to special treatment and become irate when it’s not granted.
It’s All About Them
They tend to exaggerate their successes, downplay their failures, and avoid taking responsibility for their mistakes, often blaming their employees or gaslighting them into thinking they’re at fault. They may also appropriate their employees’ successes and take credit for them.
Criticism
They struggle with giving or receiving constructive criticism and resist acknowledging their need for improvement.
Above the Rules
Narcissistic bosses may disregard company rules, believing they are above them, and will do whatever it takes to avoid repercussions if caught.
Dealing with a narcissistic boss can be extremely challenging and detrimental to your mental health. What can you do? I highly recommend checking out Disarming the Narcissist from my Amazon store front. You will also find other resources for navigating narcissism.
If you might be dealing with a female narcissist this blog can help you. If you need support in your efforts to rest, you can connect with me here. I’m here to help.
Babita Spinelli
Licensed Psychotherapist & Certified Coach.
