Did You Know You Were With A Narcissist? – Babita Spinelli, LP On The Tracey Malone Podcast

Have you ever felt alone and neglected by a loved one?

Does your partner have trouble understanding and respecting boundaries?

Do you ever feel like you’re just a bystander in a world that revolves around your partner?

If you’ve answered yes to these questions, then you might be in a relationship with a narcissist. Narcissistic Abuse is oftentimes the underlying cause of unhappy or failed relationships.

Understanding the roots of this behavior, its red flags, and ways to cope is essential to either maintaining or recovering from a narcissistic abusive relationship.

Understanding Narcissism and its Red Flags

Here are some traits to look out for if you believe you or a loved one suffers from narcissistic abuse. It is important to keep in mind that narcissism is a spectrum disorder, therefore one can exhibit small signs of narcissistic traits or they can be on the opposite end of the spectrum, where they engage in a more severe form of said traits.

  1. Charming at First: Narcissists appear charming, amicable, friendly, and successful individuals when they initially meet you. They often choose a personality that would help them gain the most.
  2. Need for Control: A narcissist feels a need to control individuals in his/her environment. As opposed to expressing their needs, they frequently devise plans (and manipulate individuals) to get the results they want.
  3. No Respect of Boundaries: Narcissists will not respect the fact that sometimes no means NO. They may also speak inappropriately about their partner, oftentimes revealing information that should not be shared publicly.
  4. Constant Lying: Narcissists or those who fall into the spectrum of narcissism are inclined to lie often and embellish facts (oftentimes about themselves) and have the tendency of lifting themselves up by putting others down.
  5. Grandiosity: Narcissists frequently endeavor to portray themselves as superior or special by flaunting, gloating, assuming undeserved acknowledgment, and different types of self-magnification.
  6. Public/Private Shaming: Narcissists say and do things, at home or even publicly, that influences one to feel less intelligent, not as successful, and less skillful.
  7. Victimizing Themselves: Through amassing pity, narcissists will play the victim, while criticizing you, as a method for hiding their abusive conduct, and abstain from assuming liability for their deceitful and misleading behavior.
Healing/Moving Forward from Narcissistic Abuse

Without mindfulness and education about narcissistic abuse, the odds that a survivor will wind up in another abusive relationship are definitely higher. There are ways to heal and move forward if you believe you are trapped in a truly unhealthy narcissistic abusive relationship.

You should seek support and learn as much as you can about this matter. Everyone deserves to be in a healthy relationship, where both partners are respectful and in sync with each other.

To learn more about this topic, please check out the interview I did with Tracy A. Malone. If you believe you are in a narcissistic abusive relationship or having difficulty moving on from such a relationship, please give me a call and we can set up an appointment to talk.

Until the next Opening the Doors post.

- BABITA
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