Collaborative Divorce and Parenting Coordination
“Caring is the ultimate competitive advantage” ~ Ron Kendrick
Sometimes a couple has decided that divorce is the best option for them. Divorce can be a bitter, contentious process that impacts each individual and any children. A vengeful cycle, based on anger and lack of communication and understanding, can ensue. And no one benefits from that.
But it doesn’t have to be that way!
If a divorcing couple is interested in pursuing what can be called a “good divorce” (or at least a “not bad” divorce), the collaborative divorce process through divorce therapy can be enormously helpful.
Divorce Therapy
As a collaboratively trained neutral mental health professional, I have successfully helped many divorcing couples in the following ways:
- Work with the divorcing couple to reduce the tension and increase the communication between them. I can also help facilitate closure and healing.
- Help the divorcing couple to jointly manage their feelings and emotional reactivity during the divorce process.
- Bridge the gap in a safe and objective space between getting things accomplished, such as a parenting plan or figuring out an interim or final plan for finances, by working through what may be holding each spouse back.
- Develop communication strategies and diffuse antagonism during the process.
- Moving from negative communication patterns to productive co-parenting communication skills.
- Learn and understand parenting techniques to maintain the child/children’s best interests at the forefront.
- Promote working effectively and as a collaborative team with your respective attorneys and move the process forward where you may be stuck.
If you are an attorney looking for assistance with a divorcing couple in a cooperative divorce or for a divorce coach to be part of the team in a collaborative divorce process, please contact me.
Although my role is that of a neutral mental health professional/collaborative divorce coach who wants to work with both spouses to achieve amicability, I also have a JD and those skills are a positive to understand the court process and expectations of legal requirements.
Parenting Coordination
Sometimes you just need a helping hand to move co-parenting decisions forward.
The divorce is now final or about to be. You have worked out your interim or final parenting plan. You think it is all there in black and white, and it will just be a matter of following it. Suddenly, you are hit with the fact that it may not be that easy, and it feels like such a struggle to agree.
This is not surprising since it involves some big decision making about all sorts of aspects around your children.
What if the parenting plan is not sufficient or you still need resolution?
If you find that you can’t seem to find resolution or that it is a constant battle to make decisions whether big or small following your parenting plan or aspects of decision making that you had not thought of, it is probably time to reach out to a parent coordinator such as myself to help you navigate these unchartered waters and avoid a negative impact on the children.
I work with parents in such circumstances who recognize that a professional is needed to coordinate and recommend solutions for either “day to day” parenting issues that come up or overall management of their parenting plan. It takes the stress away as co-parents and allows you to focus on your kids. Working with my clients as a parenting coordinator has resulted in:
- Reducing stress and emotional burden on them and the children.
- Better parent communication which has modeled better problem solving and communication skills for the children.
- Helping to make the right and healthier decisions for the children.
- Spending more time with the children instead of being stuck in conflict.
I work with parent-requested and lawyers who may find a parenting coordinator would serve the best interest of the children and clients.
My approach, including frequency, depends on what you may need. Options may be, but are not limited to:
- Weekly, bi-weekly, or monthly check-ins to address issues and provide coordination of issues that may arise.
- Short-term focused sessions (frequency to be determined) to address a highly conflictual issue or issues.
