Unfortunately, there are no shortcuts through the pain you are experiencing after a divorce. While there may be some sense of relief from moving on after an unhealthy or toxic relationship, there are still many difficult emotions to wrestle with. Guilt, sadness, resentment, hopelessness, uncertainty, overwhelm, and more.
You will likely turn to friends and family for comfort and encouragement at this time. But sometimes we can also get support from people we don’t know, who have been through a divorce or other hardships. Individuals who have dealt with struggle and hurt, and have emerged with strength and wisdom.
We naturally feel a greater sense of comfort and understanding when the words are coming from someone who has been there and really gets it. While others may have loving intentions, there is just something very powerful about the words of those who have walked a similar path. The most important thing is Healing after divorce. It doesn’t happen right away, but with time– it can enrich your entire life and generate happiness.
Here are 8 powerful and uplifting quotes that may bring some strength and inspiration to you at this time:
1. “Divorce isn’t such a tragedy. A tragedy’s staying in an unhappy marriage, teaching your children the wrong things about love. Nobody ever died of divorce.” – Jennifer Weiner
You may be feeling like it’s the end of the world especially when the divorce is fresh and the wounds are raw, but it is important to think about the alternative and the damage that is being done to yourself and your children if you choose to remain in a state of unhappiness.
Even the youngest children can pick up on your pain. And as their parent, you are their first and most significant role model.
2. “When we deny our stories, They define us. When we own our stories, we get to write the ending.”– Brené Brown
While it may seem easier to live in denial; to sweep your pain under the carpet, that rarely works in the long run. The painful emotions find a way to seep through the holes. You risk living with an under-current of unresolved hurt until you bring the issues into the light and deal with them.
Once you take an honest look at your story you can learn more about yourself and how you have dealt with relationships and situations in the past. This process will give you the insight to move forward in a more positive way and choose your “ending.”
3. “I have not ceased being fearful, but I have ceased to let fear control me.” – Erica Jong
It is unrealistic to think that once you are divorced, you will stop being afraid. It’s completely understandable that you will feel fearful about the future, the welfare of your children, your finances…any number of things.
But the important thing is not to let that fear control you, or stand in the way of rebuilding your life. It is critical to remind yourself that you have control of you destiny, through each decision (both big and small) that you make every minute of the day.
4. “My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style.” – Maya Angelou
In the early days post-divorce, you may feel like you are in survival mode. Foremost in your mind is just getting through each day on your own. Perhaps you are now the sole bread-winner, a single parent, or living alone for the first time in your life. You may be feeling overwhelmed.
But it’s rarely enough to just eat, sleep and work. It is important to rediscover your life and make time for things that bring you joy. It may be a gradual process, but the goal is always to surround yourself with people and activities that fulfill you and make you feel excited to get out of bed each morning!
5. “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” – Mahatma Gandhi
Depending on the circumstances of your divorce, you may be feeling some anger and resentment towards your ex. Or perhaps you feel a sense of guilt and regret. In either scenario, there is someone you are finding it hard to forgive.
It is extremely important to let go, so you can move on. Holding on to resentment or guilt can be immobilizing, and serves no purpose other than perpetuating pain and negativity. It is a sign of great strength when you can walk away from your role as victim.
6. “The most beautiful people I’ve known are those who have known trials, have known struggles, have known loss, and have found their way out of the depths.” – Elisabeth Kübler-Ross
You may not realize it in the early days post-divorce, but all the pain that you have endured has taught you something. It has forced you to reach inside for strength, compassion and self reliance that you didn’t know you had.
Once you learn that you have the strength to heal and manage on your own, you will find the self-confidence you need to make healthy choices and to be an inspiration to others as well.
7. “Above all, be the heroine of your life, not the victim.” – Nora Ephron
Once your marriage has ended you can decide which role you want to play in the next chapter of your life. If you chose to live as a victim, you will attract people and situations that reinforce that reality. But if you choose to be the heroine you will only accept that which allows you to thrive!
8. “Your dream doesn’t have an expiration date. Take a deep breath and try again.” – KT Witten
Healing after divorce is a journey. Healing after divorce can help you truly find that happiness within yourself once more. You may be feeling that since the dream you had for your life didn’t work out, you missed your chance for happiness. But dreams aren’t only for the young! There is the opportunity to build a new vision for your life, every single day. You can reinvent yourself and your life based on who you are today, and all you have learned and accomplished.
Regardless of how far along you are on your road to healing after divorce and rebuilding yourself, it is always validating and inspirational to hear from others who have weathered a storm and have some helpful wisdom to share!